We were just making lunch (vegetarian risotto) and then she started talking how I have to make a base for preparing vegetables and meat and fish. I said I don't care about fish and meat base because I don't intend on preparing it, since I'm vegetarian. She said that I'll have to learn, how will I be able to prepare food for my family?
I replied that I will prepare only vegetarian food for my kids and if my husband/partner wants to eat meat, he'll have to make it himself. My kids will not be forbidden to eat meat, I just won't prepare it in my home. Their father could make it for them, eat it in restaurants or they can buy it and prepare for themselves.
My mother was shocked and enraged by this statement. She said I'm a selfish person and that if I loved someone and wanted to make them happy I'd do that for them. She never liked some kinds of meat but she'd prepare it for her husband if he asked her too.
She said that by giving your child all kinds of food you give them choice to become what they want when they grow up.
Her: "When you were a kid I was making you food that you liked because I love you."
Me: "Then why you kept giving me meat when I cried I don't want to and don't like it?"
You see? Because in most cases we all have to eat what's on the table, right? Not really allowed to be picky.
Her: "What if I never made any vegetables for you and only meat?"
Me: "I don't think there are people in the world who's stands forbid them to eat veggies, or that veggies disgust them. Vegetarianism is specific way of life."
Her: "What if your husband loves peas and you like rice, will you only make rice and neglect him?"
Me: "Then he'll make it himself. But I doubt you can feel disgust and be against some other type of vegetable as you can be for meat."
What got me worried is her example of her friend who was in Jehova's witnesses and she forced her daughter into religion, which I strongly disapprove.
Is this the same? Are religious stands equal to moral stands? I don't think that feedings and religion practice are the same, but the result is the same. We grow up to be what they teach us in our home. Well mostly, at least we are influenced by it if not practising it ourselves. Every family has it's own practice on food and religion.
Now, is that mother, traditional woman who serves her family or a woman without firm personal stands speaking from her?
I don't want to compromise my stands and want to hold on them firmly, and that enraged her. She says my mind will change in years to come.
We have had so many discussions over her stands and my stands. My pride, feminism, alternative lifestyle stands...and I just don't know is that just character difference between us (traditional vs. modern) or generosity/selfishness question.
Is standing by your stands to the point someone else is under the influence selfishness?
I know there are families with vegetarian or even vegan kids too, and they are alright.
Damn, I'm not even sure I will have kids and here she is, bothering me! >.<
Have you had discussions like this in your family too?
I've been vegetarian for 3 years, 4 this summer, and I didn't have much problems, except people not understanding what being vegetarian means ("You can eat chicken and fish right?"), constantly forgetting that I'm vegetarian and leaving me without food or just thinking that it's just a phase. [/sarcasm]
Ok, this is becoming more of a rant, sorry.
Stay strong, fresh and green! :D